I'm gonna have a badass scar
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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