is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
