If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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