Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
