Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
