i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
