im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
