dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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