Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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