Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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