Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
