I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
