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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!

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• (805): View more from California

  as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"

  (1-805): View more from California

  uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win

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• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.

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• (510): View more from California

  I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms

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• (619): View more from California

  FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (916): View more from California

  You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".

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• (415): View more from California

  Feeling better?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"

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• (831): View more from California

  Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.

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• (518): View more from New York

  is that a dick in a sweater?

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