You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs