I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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