The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
MIDGETS
????
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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