is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I need water and some morals
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
