Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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