He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
