Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He better not be in your backpack
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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