I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
