i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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