As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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