She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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