It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
