I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
