They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
