I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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