That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
