.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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