I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
