I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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