My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's blow job season.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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