You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
