Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
