I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
