great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
