you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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