last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
