You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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