dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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