dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
