just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
