I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
