I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
