I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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