sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
