Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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