Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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