Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize