her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
