Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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