His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
