He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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