do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
