Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Are we still banned from the library?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
