Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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