Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
