need another drink. this is the easiest way
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
