I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
