and she was petting her beer can
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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