i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
